The Mojave is a harsh mistress

How many of you have ever been sunburned? now how many have seen sun so hot and dry it could split open old scars in a matter of a day or two? I just spent 2 weeks in that sun with wind that whips up sandstorms all night and peppered through the day. this place is known by several names, The Mojave desert, or more specifically California city, H park, The Wasteland, or as I call it “Home”.

The trip took 22 hours of driving due to detours and traffic, 3 hours or so one night and a sleep at a rest stop followed by 19 hours and a STOP at a truck stop. Somehow my brother was able to sleep at what would seem to be the single busiest intersection in the entire Mojave. I however felt the need to discharge a firearm into traffic and detonate high explosives recreationally. this was primarily due to the loadup I had to be at in a few hours. I remember closing my eyes only to re-open them with around an hour (tops) of sleep to go load up the gate, wall, and stage at Adam’s house in Hesperia. Showing up at adam’s house turned out to be a slightly surreal experience in itself…

We only had room for post apoc gear in the vehicle, this presented the awesome issue of making the entire trip dressed as apocalyptic madmen. thankfully I dress like this every day. Once in Hesperia I got to leap out of the vehicle in a filthy denim kilt and ragged leather jacket to ask people for directions! when we got to adam’s place there was a deuce and a half with a mobile machine shop on the back parked alongside a trailer of the same ilk and it eliminated ALL possibility of the wrong address.

After loading and unloading things sort of became a blur. at one point I ws slapped in the balls triggering a good natured wrestling match that gave me some sort of soft tissue damage and possibly a minor hairline fracture to one leg. I remember drinking moonshine hanging off the back of a truck cutting donuts (Don’t try this shit at home kids I’m a totally irresponsible human being and will die young I assure you)

Setting up our dome was a cartoon made reality. it involved Cook Cook, ZB, Slim, Khan, and myself attempting to stack a ladder on top of another ladder, on top of a pile of pallets that was protesting cook cooks not insignificant girth (he’s our cook and he has earned every pound, his candied spam is amazing), the next part after almost killing our cook (he told us to name the crater he made when he fell after him) we lifted the dome over our heads and he drove into it in a Volvo which he and ZB then proceeded to take apart the roof rack and stand a ladder inside of. about that time Bill brown came over like obi wan kenobi after watching hours of the 5 stooges almost killing each other. he helped us get it the rest of the way up.

A large part of what makes Wasteland Weekend is the sense of belonging to a small village where what you do is needed. we have an EMT as our medic. A baker as a Cook, me as fearless leader (Beerless leader?), a business major who is sort of the ghengis khan of marijuana and head of our barter booth, a talented level headed martial artist as master at arms, our entertainment director is a sideshow performer and MC of a burlesque show…. I have managed to put together a truly amazing tribe if I do say so myself. maybe not as flashy as the others out there but it was our first year as a tribe. next year the entire tribe is gong great khan, I have a ‘71 torino wagon with a 351 cleveland I am looking at as a khan gunwagon (want to do it as a 4x4 wagon on a truck chassis)

so much awesomeness…,. here is a pic of me holding up the wonderful ms. Amazon after one of the burlesque shows….

That’s me, Tex, in the Middle, Darius Khan is the fella on the right and Grommet (Parker South) is the guy with the grin and the handful of buttcheek. this was taken INSIDE The Maltese Falcon Saloon (the dome I built)

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Wasteland Weekend

I just spent 2 weeks in a parallel reality… The post apocalypse came and went, and with it my mind was erased with a heroic dosage of mushrooms while already mind shatteringly drunk on a corny keg of red bull and vodka (Cook Cook is a saint!), before and AFTER nuking myself with those tiny mushroom clouds of hope my time was spent running a barter show with a private burlesque (barely got off the ground this year) and organizing a tribe of wonderful sociopaths. we have a cook, a medic, a chief of security, an entertainment director, a grunt/ meat shield, etc.

Let me try to make more sense for the un-initiated. Wasteland weekend Is a 4 day festival of post apocalyptic mayhem in the socal desert.. Me, being on load up and clean up duty, well… I spent about 2 weeks out there in costume with other wierdos waving weapons, cutting donuts in post apoc vehicles and hollerin’ at the sky, and this was before the festival even began.

more later…

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well, my arms are blurry as shit but I got the studding done for my Great Khans Simple Armor. should have the pocket flaps done and sewn on before the end of the day. may also get the flames on the front done. Already have the leather for the leg armor, the imitation shearling for the odd armored codpiece, etc.  still need to alter the collar a bit add the fuzzy trim bits and the arm fuzz sleeve bit thing too. that last bit was a technical term…

well, my arms are blurry as shit but I got the studding done for my Great Khans Simple Armor. should have the pocket flaps done and sewn on before the end of the day. may also get the flames on the front done. Already have the leather for the leg armor, the imitation shearling for the odd armored codpiece, etc.  still need to alter the collar a bit add the fuzzy trim bits and the arm fuzz sleeve bit thing too. that last bit was a technical term…

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